Couples | Let's Scrap Valentine's Day

And try a different approach for you and your partner


A few weeks ago, the majority of our society “celebrated” this thing called Valentine’s Day, which I believe is meant to honor and affirm loving relationships.  However, I often find February 14thto be a day full of pressure and stress and expectation about howyou’re going to try and show the world that your relationship is awesome.  Even if it doesn’t feel that way.

 

If you and your partner enjoy celebrating this holiday together, that’s fantastic; I’m glad you can make an intentional effort to be together or remind yourself of how much you love and value your partner.

 

If you find yourself dreading Valentine’s Day because you don’t know if your partner is going to come through with his or her romantic responsibilities, or if you don’t know if your efforts and gifts and sentiments are going to be better than last year – I think you might need to scrap this holiday all together.

 

To me, the anxiety and stress and pressure around Valentine’s Day hovers over two deeper questions:  “Do I matter enough to him/her?” and “Am I enough for him/her?”  Do I matter enough for him/her to plan a date/buy this gift/set aside time?  Am I (and my gifts and efforts and intentions) enough for him/her?  These questions are real and valid and genuine, and Valentine’s Day is never going to give you a sufficient answer.

 

This is where I believe a simple practice like gratitude comes into play.  I wholeheartedly want couples to spend time affirming one another, valuing one another and cherishing their time together.  What if we started from a place of gratitude?

 

What would your attitude and your posture toward your partner be like, if you started from a place of thankfulness and appreciation?

 

How would your words change?  Your actions? Your willingness to invest in the relationship?

 

And what would it feel like to receive gratitude from your partner?

 

My guess is that the answer to all these questions would be something that is sustaining, rich, and meaningful.  Something that draws you closer to one another and leaves you a little better off than before.

 

Something way better than a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

 

In this with you,

Alair

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