Couple's Therapy


In couple's therapy, I walk alongside you and your partner in understanding why you often find yourselves stuck in the same patterns of frustration, arguments and disconnection.  We will also discover and practice new ways to reach out for and lean on each other, even when times get tough.

Why couple's therapy?

Have you ever noticed how you and your partner get in the same kind of argument over and over again?  The stuff you're fighting about may be different each time, but generally the fight goes the same way.  And you find yourselves going around and around, and not quite sure how to get off this awful merry-go-round.

 

I believe that couples get stuck in the same negative patterns because they believe their relationship is threatened, and partners are actually doing everything they know how to prevent a relationship crisis, failure or break-up.  This philosophy comes from my commitment to a particular model of couple's therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and I use EFT because this model:

  • explains why couples get stuck in the same patterns over and over again
  • helps us understand the emotions and needs that fuel this negative pattern
  • doesn't judge, shame or criticize; instead, it highlights hope and offers compassion
  • gives couples a new way to connect in deep, meaningful ways

Where do we start?

When I start working with you and your partner, I like to spend a few sessions getting to know you both.

 

To start, I will meet with both of you in our initial session.  I like to share about the therapy process and the Emotionally Focused Therapy model.  I also want to learn more about your relationship history and what prompted you to reach out to me for therapy support.

 

After our first session, I will meet with each of you individually I like to schedule an individual session with each of you to spend more time getting to know you and your hopes for your relationship.  I also find it helpful to learn about your family background and personal history, because these factors play an important role in our couple's therapy.

 

Finally, we will all meet back together.  I will share my thoughts and reflections about why you find yourselves stuck in your negative patterns, and I will offer my suggestions and recommendations about how we can move forward in therapy.

Do we need couple's therapy?

Here are some of the most common challenges that bring couples to me for couple's therapy:

  • Pre-marital/pre-engagement counseling
  • Infidelity (Physical and/or emotional)
  • Discernment about divorce/separation/ending the relationship
  • Navigating transitions (New baby, children leaving home, etc.)
  • Parenting difficulties
  • Addiction and recovery
  • Communication difficulties
  • Disconnection in the relationship (physical/emotional/sexual)

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In the neighborhood...

 Nourish:  Essential + Intentional Gatherings for Women

Holiday Workshop at  HATCHED Collective

Thursday, November 29th, 6:30-8:30pm

 

Join us for an evening of Sacred Wreath Making.  Take time away from the crazy to get in touch with your real intentions for the holidays, and create a gorgeous holiday wreath to serve as a touchstone for those intentions.  Enjoy cozy refreshments and craft alongside a wonderful group of women.  Sign up today!


Around town...


 

Alair Olson, M.A.

 Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

(MFC#86504)

 

South Mission Valley | San Diego, CA  92108

858.634.0302 | therapy@alairolson.com